Wow! That is a lot to go through! When you decided to get serious about the relationshi, I think you left your boyfriend behind. Did you talk to him about getting serious about the relationship? If he agreed but is still the party animal, maybe he is not ready? Sounds like you two are due for another chat. I was wondering if he hurts you emotionally, why are you so afraid to loose this guy? I would only see others who were worthy of my trust and this guy would have me running in the other direction. Do you think you are so unloveable that you date a man who drinks and treats you like crap? Do you know what it is to be loved, honored and respected?