It must be really difficult to live with the fear as you describe it – you must be fantasically brave just to be able to function.

I think what Melissa might have been saying (if she doesn’t mind me speaking for her) is that because we know it’s going to happen at some point and it’s out of our control, then death just becomes a fact of life. You clearly love life otherwise why fear death? It seems a pity for you that the thing you fear prevents you from enjoying the thing you love.

I guess that maybe it all comes down to how you view death and what comes after: do you have any beliefs about that?