I was in sessions on Mon & Tues. T told me that I needed more work than she thought. That "It is worse than I thought". I am scared. Not sure what she meant and am afraid to ask. I know I have alot of issues and she said after 28+ years of practicing I rate in the top 5 of her worst childhood cases. That is scarey to me.
I know I have trouble with "inconsistant behaviours":
1. my handwriting changes with my moods.
2. the explosion in my head last weekend/with the feeling of peace and joy and feeling like someone else.
3. I play world of warcraft. I raid alot. I got into an arguement with someone about me letting someone else play my character during the raid....it was me...NO ONE plays my account but me.
4. People in high school making remarks about how much different I acted at different times.
5. My dreams of 3 of me.
6. My husband telling me about "moving across the bed like a large cat and getting aggressive with him"...I was asleep.
7. YEARS of sleepwalking....my mom used to have to put extra locks on the doors and she would put tin cans on strings as alarms to wake her so she could get up and get me back to bed....I was ALWAYS trying to leave the house. ( I wanted so badly to run away, but felt I had to stay to protect my sibblings). She laughed and thought it funny.
8. I have lost time
9. I have come to myself and not recognized where I was and did not know how to get home from where I was.
10. I stayed the night at my dad's 1 time alone since I have become an adult and I have no memory of what happened after I went to bed, but woke in a panic and HAD to get out! The bedding was all bunched in the middle of the bed and I was terrified...but HAD to fix the bed before I could leave....I had a feeling of "cover up".
11. 5 years ago ( I was age 41) My dad asked me to play with his penis...I completely changed to a 3 yr old little girl standing there trying not to wet myself and needing to run but was frozen in terror....where can a 3 yr old go? (the bad part here, my teen son was standing next to me & was confused about me not reacting)
12. T said "splintered personality"....
13. posted poetry that I did not remember posting on another site...about being someone i am not....no memory of posting.
I am scared.
