Well after 3 1/2 years of therapy, I feel that I have got all that I can from my T. I love my T. He has been great for me. I would love to stay and see him every week if I could. I feel so attached to him. I like him because he is the one person that sits and listens to me and what I have to say with no judgement and helps me through things. I have not had the confidence to be like this with anyone else. Not even my husband.

I am really feeling this need though that one, we just keep going over things that we already have only from a different view or we do it to get me centered again. I'm trying to say that I know what he wants me to do, how to help myself in those times, but I don't. I don't b/c if I do then I am better and don't need T as much. How crazy does that sound? I don't want to loose/leave my T.

I still have this problem of feeling I need him to be like a father to me since I never had one that didn't abuse me. In reality, my life is very good without my real father. But I have T to go to every week, sometimes more than once.

I know I certainly want to taper the sessions and just not up and quit since that will bring up so many abandonment bells. This way we can work through all that. I am so scared though to even tell T this. Everytime we even get close to talk about this I freak out, feel I am abandoned all ready by him. It turns me upside down emotionally.

I know that I can do more things on my own but again, I do that then T dumps me. So I use him as much as I can. I call when I can even get just a little help from him. Sometimes I call him just because I know his voice will calm me down when I should be using the strateriges that I have learned and developed with him.

T doesn't know how deep these feelings of leaving go. He doesn't know that I feel I can do more on my own. I am so messed up for thinking this way. I know I am. I just can lose him though. Maybe I should say I can not leave him, ever in my mind.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Every week after session I realize T is always right, and he is for the most part. Then I feel guilty for even going to T anymore. Has anyone gone through this? Does anyone know how I feel? I feel very wrong for all these feelings, like I am violating some rule or law or something. I feel so wrong.