My mind's been racing a lot lately. I've been remembering so much lately. Mostly the bad stuff. My boyfriend tries to make me remember good things...things that I have forgotten...

My mind keeps going to the bad stuff, though. Like I've been remembering my mom laying on her hospital bed...suffering...then dead. And I've been remembering the dreams I've had, especially the dream that haunts me about the little girl.

What I've been remembering the most, especially today, are my darkest hours...the negative thinking when I was at the end of my ropes and wishing only death would come quickly.

Like I said...my mind is racing...I hate all these memories...they're coming and going and I just want to forget them all. What is their purpose of returning? I wonder that a lot.