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Old Oct 21, 2005, 01:44 PM
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__zh __zh is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Location: waaaaay out west
Posts: 841
we wish we could reverse time and undo all the horrible things done to so many on these boards. alas............

the inability to see how you will ever be healed is part of where you're at right now. that is part of the disease/disorder. the mental blocking of positive change..........the black hole of the brain where all positive things get sucked into to never be heard from again. doesn't it seem like that at times?!! does for us!

we know that feeling of not being able to imagine ever being healed or better or having a happier life. we lived in that darkeness for YEARS!! we struggled for many years with ups and downs and downs and omg how much lower can this get??? and after a few tanker loads of tears and heaps of therapy and a snazzy cocktail of meds we're not wishing for an out each day..........we're not sure what the future holds but we know that we not only deserve one but we deserve to be happy in that future we're fighting so hard to get to each day. the fight isn't the same as when we were in the darkness hating everything. the quality of the struggle has changed. it is easier in many ways but that doesn't remove the hardships that must be overcome for healing. at least now we know we're capable of facing those hardships. years back we would have tossed our hands into the air and given up in a funk. ask around. plenty of folks remember how bad off we were years back and can tell you of the desperation we lived in.

don't ask us how we know you CAN keep fighting.......we just know. trust us! sj

with continued faith in you Susan.
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__zh