Some British humour this time ?

"The A-Z of being single" de Jeff Green:

"Being single is the fun of living solo, which means FREEDOM - freedom you've only dreamed about. For women - how about sitting in the bath for forty-two hours if you want? Having the heating on and the windows open and not hearing a word of complaint? Imagine a world of candles and kittens. A new world.Your world. How does it feel ? Good ?
For men, single living means freedom for you too - freedom to sleep in your clothes, sleep directly on the mattress, even sleep in the car if you want. it's YOUR life. Do it your way. It's the freedom to finally relax in a world where no one tells you when to come home, what to wear or how many times you can reheat Chinese food. It's the freedom to have the toilet seat up, down or (my favourite) completely off its hinges. Feeling giddy? "

Being stood up ? Here's some advice :
"Tip : Try to retain some dignity. You will be exposed to ridicule if you are seen outside the cinema :
- constantly looking at your watch in puzzlement whilst holding a bouquet of limp flowers like an olympic torch.
- looking expectantly into the eyes of every passing female, like a tied up labrador waiting for its owner to come out of a sweetshop.
-shivering
-banging your head against a wall, wailing :"why does this always happen to me?"
- still there the next day."