I am beginning to doubt it very much. I was first dx'ed with BP when I was in my late teens. I refused treatment and just lived with the consequences. Crash and burn depresssions routinely alternated with flying high manic episodes that would last days, weeks and even months.

Now I am in my 50's and I don't recover or cope like I used to. The mania is less intense then it used to be but the depression is much more intense and the episodes last a lot longer.

I think I have more mixed and rapid cycling then I remember ever having before. Now it is like a constant monitoring of my moods and reprogramming of my thinking. Other health issues the last decade have compounded the symptoms too.

I have refused medication for a variety or reasons. All of which seem to be wearing thin on me because I am not getting better. In fact other then being more aware, attentive and better equiped to cope since accepting the diagnosis it isn't enough. All the behavioural changes and mental exercises in the world don't seem to be helping me get better. I cope and I suffer. I don't get any relief.

I am tempted to check out my new doctor and see where a conversation about meds to treat the bi polar might take us. I will likely need to go back to the pdoc. It is very difficult for me to open this door. I am so afraid of doctors and meds that my hands shake just writing about it. Huge triggers of fear and anxiety.

I have been at this point before and talked myself out it time and time again. I could write a book of my excuses why not to take meds. Truth be told..... if the proof is in the pudding I am proof that going it without meds may not be a very wise decision.