Hey all,

I'm self-diagnosed with BPD (in the worst-case scenario) and recently took the first step in finding someone in my area who works with BPD patients. I emailed her a while ago and she responded but isn't taking anymore patients and has referred me to a partner therapist. However, now I am deathly scared of calling said partner therapist, even though I know I need this treatment. Part of it's because I hate talking to people on the phone in general -- I have become much better at it but have still a long way to go -- and part of it's because I am genuinely afraid of her being mean to me. I know that sounds so silly, but I have actually come close to crying once after an interview with an extremely snarky and judgmental HR manager, and I hate feeling like an incompetent loser. Right now I'm leaning towards not calling just to avoid that possibility...