Hello misssmiley,

This is really burning you up and that can't be a good feeling for you.

I will say now that I think you need help with these thoughts as well as your other issues. And I think you need to either share the blame with the man who played up on you and the woman or you put in into a balloon and let it go; just let it float away on the wind.

I really wish you luck with this because it can't be easy, all I can say is that he chose you, he came back to you so apart from that weakness it's you he loves. This is a matter for yourselves and maybe a counsellor. But I agree that you need help for the issue of violent thoughts