It sounds to me like depression. I know because I have it and I am feeling as emotionless and indifferent about others including those who love me dearly. However, the knowledge that it is depression enables me to push myself into activities that I may not feel thrilled about, but I know it is for my own good. Otherwise, I am giving in to the condition. The hardest part of acknowledgin the depression was first admitting that my anger is from within and I was throwing it outward to all of those around me. Feelings of Jealousy, resentment, the desire to be alone, from all others who seemed to have a life.

Yes, there are others from your lief who have hurt you deeply. I still struggle, after 25 years of work and educational advancement, to acquire a decent job. THe fury I feel toward employers is unfathomable. However, I realize this and have to help myself try to let go of it. It is difficult when I am constantly overlooked for professional jobs and have to take minimum wage work.

Please, if you notice any patterns you have been making in your life, try to become aware of it and change a few things. I am noticing that I fear rejection so I avoid even applying. I am determining my own failure. I don't want to get hurt by men so I avoid socializing witth them. Don't forget to hug yourself too and tell others, even if you don't feel it, that you are happy for them.