Quote:
Originally Posted by sanityseeker
That's just it Amanda. Why do you still have to suffer if you are on meds? Why don't the meds work better? I just don't get it. It makes me angry actually. I take a pill every morning to maintain my thyroid level. It works like a charm. Why can't they do the same with my BP symptoms? It just doesn't make sense to me and that is a big part of why I have gone this long without them. I am still waiting to hear from that person for whom the meds provide them a significantly better quality of life then I am living without the meds. I read the forums and it seems meds or no meds everyone here hits hard times just like I do. I guess any improvement is worth something but I just think they should be able to do better then that for us.
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THAT is the exact reason I discontinued my "mood stabilizers" a couple of weeks ago. I realized that despite perfect compliance with my medications, they had never shielded me from the depressive episodes that they were intended to prevent... so why am I taking them? They were making me drowsy, foggy, and fat, and not serving their purpose. Doesn't make much sense to me.
Similarly, what's the point of taking an antidepressant months after you were initially depressed? To me, it's like taking sudafed year-round (and dealing with its side effects) just in case you happen to get a cold. At this point, I'd rather prove to myself that I'm actually still sick before I continue medicating myself for it.
I'm still not completely medication free, but I'm down to an average dose of an antidepressant, wellbutrin, and of an anxiety med, BuSpar. No more mood stabilizers. Maybe I'll discontinue the wellbutrin in the future, but for now I want to abuse it for its weight loss effects if nothing else.
One thing I should note is that I discontinued my medications while feeling pretty stable since about February. I can't say for sure whether my fairly steady mood was a result of the many medications I was taking vs. the natural ebb and flow of time, but I do know that the side effects were becoming unbearable for me.
It's possible that I might REALLY regret this decision in the future if I go down in a huge ball of flames... but I've been taking medications for so long that I'm not sure what my baseline really is. Maybe it's not so bad... but I have to find out... even if I regret it... because at least then I'll know for sure.
I think I need a new screen name...
