magz88, I think you said it so eloquently: "To me a feminist is someone that doesn't preach equality but proves equality is possible to obtain by fulfilling her own dreams."

I definitely consider myself a feminist, but I absolutely do not go out and preach my views to others, unless there is something I observe or witness that is blatantly abhorrent to me and it is safe for me to do so. I'm not a bra-burner, and in appearance, I am as feminine as it gets! Blonde, blue-eyed, long hair, fashionable. I am a total girlie-girl.

For me, it's about proving that whatever a man can do, I can do too, and whatever I can do, he can do as well. I demand equality in my marriage and in my work environment and from time to time, that has definitely created challenges in my personal life.

Many folks have stated that the political and the social aspects of feminism need to be treated as separate and distinct, but I'm not sure that I agree with that statement either. Too often, politics drive our social realities (look at the middle east) and if we ignore one, then we can't really fix the other. Therefore, my feminism definitely focuses on both. But, like I said, this is my personal view and I certainly don't share it with anyone unless I'm asked.

I show my feminism in small ways, such as not adopting my husband's last name (something that caused us challenges when we were first married - he is more traditional and struggled with this, as did my family) and in accelerating my career at a rapid pace and a young age and demanding a salary equal to those of my male counterparts before accepting a job. I have also been lucky enough to work for women for the past several years, all of whom have been great mentors to me and taught me that there doesn't have to be a glass ceiling for women.

AmDaws, here's my opinion, take it for what it is. If your views (feminist or not) pissed off your ex, then maybe it wasn't really meant to be. Whether or not you consider yourself to be a feminist, if you couldn't agree on your general philosophies on life, then it probably wasn't going to be a great match over the long term. You shouldn't have to tone it down for anyone - a good match and partnership is one in which you can be open and share all of your most intimate thoughts and feelings without worrying about being judged by your partner. Although my views sometimes drive my husband crazy, his best friend is also a feminist (yes, he has a straight, feminist best friend) and that has made my life a bit easier. My husband doesn't always agree with me, but he never judges me and will always listen and try and understand where I'm coming from. If he didn't, he wouldn't be my husband. I'd rather be single than judged.

Just my thoughts...