I cut when I am Sui. It removes the pressure to do something worse.

Sometimes I find myself using the coping skills I have learned and they don't reduce the urge. When they say that the urge will reduce over time is seems like a lie. They haven't been there with me for hours trying to wait for it to go away.

Expressing anger at other people has been dangerous and it is easier to express that anger towards myself. I can control the amount of damage. Instead of fearing what their reaction would be I can know how much it will hurt.

I don't do it for attention from anyone in the sense that I do it in places I can hide it so others wont see.

But at the same time I do need my T to care. I need someone to care about my safety. Especially if I'm at a place where I don't feel like I can.