I am sorry, Rhiannonsmoon, that you have become agoraphobic.

I really am not afraid to go out of the house. Today I had to go to an adoption event for a dog I am fostering & then two pet sitting jobs (I'm a pet-sitter). While I didn't really enjoy today's adoption event as I normally would have, I was able to handle it & smile & answer people's questions. The pet sitting jobs are a breeze because there is no one in the client's homes but the pets I'm taking care of. My husband goes with me sometimes to help on the pet sitting jobs.

Then, when I got home, I had to get on the phone & duke it out with the mortgage company, again! That really drained me.

Tonight, I'm just feeling totally spent, drained, and disappointed in myself. My joints are hurting & I feel all foggy. I'm not sure why I'm disappointed in myself since I actually did a lot today.

I wrote my husband a note yesterday, trying to explain to him what I have been thinking & feeling. I think he understands more but he still can't help me. He's worried about me. He told me not to work if I don't think I can but he can't carry the entire economic load for our family himself! I don't want him to!

I just don't know where all of these negative feelings are coming from. I'm wondering if I should go to the hospital & check in for a mental evaluation. I've never had one before & I wonder how well I've been diagnosed in the past on an out-patient basis regarding my depression.

Kim/Tangodream