I don't understand why you would leave your wife and kids if they're happy with you. I get that you don't feel empathy or love but they do and would feel the loss. Obviously, they are filling some kind of need in your life. You are connected and a part of a family unit. Very human to want that. Pretending? Love can be a feeling and love can be a verb. If you are pretending is that not giving love? The act of love itself, to provide, to comfort, to touch, are these not important? I've never met a psychopath to be honest. I am myself intensely empathetic even to people who are hateful to me. They make me feel guilty whether or not I've done anything wrong. I have to wonder at your motivation for interacting with others. You mentioned control. Is it because you find it difficult to control yourself so you try to control those around you? The primary concern should be the safety of your family. If you can be sure you won't hurt them then stay. Because it will hurt them to be abandoned by you.

I've enjoyed your post. I feel like I've learned something but I'm not sure what. Perhaps I have to sleep on it.