Hello Barleysmile,

I know what it is like to be raised to put myself last and least. I still struggle to this day because when I got to my teenage years I rebelled and said no more. Unfortunately it didn't do me much good because I made choices that put my life in danger. Always got out, but with enough damage to create another problem for me.

What you need to do is to rebel but in a safe way. Sit in a room with a stong pillow and a chair; sit on the chair and bring every possible thought you can into your mind. Let them build and as they are building, say either out loud or in your mind "NO MORE!" As the feeling builds take the pillow and use it to hit back at the thoughts and safely at the person who caused it. Being fully aware that you are hitting out at the cause not the person.

You may destroy the pillow, and will have to clean up, but belt it out until you can't feel the rage any longer. Sit quietly and calmly for a few moments and then get yourself a nice cool drink of water and go clean up the pillow if need be.

I know this sounds out of character but that is the point, and once you have stood up to those things, those thoughts you will find strength to stand up to others, be they lesser or more than the ones you fought,

Rhiannon