I'm just coming down off of one of the worst panic attacks of my life.

Last night I had trouble sleeping (very unusual for me), and started feeling really... well... horny (also very unusual for me). I woke up very early for no good reason and just laid in bed thinking dirty thoughts. This is not me.

After getting out of the shower and brushing teeth, etc, I could swear I saw the reflection of a dark figure in the mirror behind me. My heart stopped, and I jumped. When I turned around, there was no one there and my heart was pounding.

Then, at church, I couldn't focus. My mind was constantly wandering anywhere and everywhere. I noticed I was breathing very fast and shallow. I realized that colors and patterns were unusually vibrant and distracting... almost hard to look at. Voices around me echoed in my head, and I found it almost impossible to carry on a conversation. I couldn't look at people's faces because they looked deformed - like their eyes were enlarged and popping out, and when anyone looked at me, I felt their gaze burning straight through me.

By the end of the first hour, I was shaking and hyperventilating. I needed to get away and hide, somewhere still and quiet. I left church early and somehow drove myself home while still barely able to breathe.

Inside my door, I broke into fits of terrified, anguished sobs.

I found the clonazepam and took 1 mg. It's finally working and I can breathe again, and being in the quiet of my own home is helping me a lot.

Although I'm sure many on this board have experienced far worse, that was one of the scariest experiences of my life... and as much as I hate to admit it, I need medication if I'm going to function.

So, right now I'm scared by what I just experienced, and depressed because apparently, I really AM broken.