Hi....I don't get to post very often b/c I'm usually not on a computer where I feel safe enough to post but I read the post so I feel like I know everyone and feel safe enough to share this with you...

I started SI'ing about 5 months ago but these past 6 weeks have been really bad and on Monday my T agreed with me that my P'doc may want me to go into the hospital for a stay....I go see my P'doc on Wed....I don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure that's what she is going to want and I am freaking out b/c that will mean that my family/parents are going to find out. I'm an adult but currently living with my parents so there's no way around telling them and it's not like I can disappear for a couple of days without them knowing even if I was on my own....I feel like they are going to freak out and be really angry and hurt....I am such a people pleaser especially with my parents that it is killing me to know that I may hurt my parents and my anxiety is going thru the roof. I am ashamed of what I have been doing even though I know there is nothing to be ashamed of....My Parents know about my depression but they have no clue as to what kind of thoughts or things I go thru b/c I hide really well....they think I am doing really good....I have a new job that I love and everything should be great but it isn't.....they are going to be shocked for one that I'm not doing good then I throw on them that I'm SI'ing and possibly going back to the hospital.....I am just completly freaked out about this...I don't know what to do.

I really just needed a place to vent... some people I've told IRL say that my parents will probably be real understanding but I fear the worst...I've seen my dads reaction to mild things way to many times and it's always been anger and lectures....I just would rather not go thru this but I'm afraid I can't escape it....I could stop SI'ing and trust me I'm trying but I'm so anxious right now it's really hard.....Have any of you had problems telling your family....or what were their reactions.....My family thinks I'm the perfect little "christian" girl......I'm afraid I'm about to burst that bubble...

Well If you are still reading this I appreciate you taking time to listen to me vent........This may sound stupid but it's just what I'm going thru right now