Quote:
Originally Posted by barleysmile
I don't understand why you would leave your wife and kids if they're happy with you. I get that you don't feel empathy or love but they do and would feel the loss. Obviously, they are filling some kind of need in your life. You are connected and a part of a family unit. Very human to want that. Pretending? Love can be a feeling and love can be a verb. If you are pretending is that not giving love? The act of love itself, to provide, to comfort, to touch, are these not important? I've never met a psychopath to be honest. I am myself intensely empathetic even to people who are hateful to me. They make me feel guilty whether or not I've done anything wrong. I have to wonder at your motivation for interacting with others. You mentioned control. Is it because you find it difficult to control yourself so you try to control those around you? The primary concern should be the safety of your family. If you can be sure you won't hurt them then stay. Because it will hurt them to be abandoned by you.
I've enjoyed your post. I feel like I've learned something but I'm not sure what. Perhaps I have to sleep on it.
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I'm not going to leave my wife just because some bloakie has a problem with our relationship. She is happy with me at the moment, despite our little quarrels and differences. What bothers me is the future as predicted by therapists and other such people. I've never known a woman who honestly said she had a long and healthy relationship with a psychopath. I'm not sure it has ever been done, and I'm not sure it can be done. How long can I maintain this image of loving, caring husband and father? How do I control the urges and the rage? Can Nikki handle it when that facade slips? I do like my relationship with my wife, and I don't want it to fail just because I have a proclivity for manipulative, controlling, and unethical behavior.
I am motivated by that predatory game I often mention. I basically have one goal in life; that is to dominate, and it applies to all areas of my life, including relationships. The problem is that whatever pleasure I get from achieving a goal is abrupt and fleeting. All of what little emotions I do have are fleeting. So it's not long until I'm looking for the next goal, and, more importantly, an obstacle to defeat. This is why my relationships never last.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a conversation every now and again. But there's nothing quite like working all the angles to get that cookie jar in all it's forbidden glory.
I don't know the origins of the controlling nature. I'm fairly certain it's just inherent. For as long as I can remember, I was manipulating people into bending to my wishes. I'm actually trying to gain a better understanding of it. And I think that's something I'm going to need a little help with.
I'm glad you enjoyed my post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lonegael
Thanks for the honesty, Myers. Brutal, but it needs to be at times. All good to you and yours.
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It's too bad we can't get an esteemed researcher to give the details on the disorder. There are a lot of misconceptions about it. And thank you.