Wellok, I can relate COMEPLETELY!! In my experience, this was my body and brain coming to a "climax", if you will. Some repressed memory was trying to surface. I went to T last week and had a breakthrough, the anxiety immediately subsided and the memories started coming back in streams. I am now processing the memories. It was my body working kind of like a festering boil. It grows in pressure and if ignored only gets worse. But when you stop ignoring it and open it up, the ugliness inside can drain. Only then can it be cleaned and packed and healed. (I am a nurse, sorry for the analagy, but that is what it reminds me of).
I have recently had the boil lanced, now I clean and pack it daily and go to T like she requests (2x week) and I am sleeping better adn doing better.
I am also working on a book that was the scalple, if you will. Homecoming by John E Bradshaw. There are also videos on youtube, for his works and workshops.
You need someone trained in truama therapy...this does not get better with just treating only the anxiety or the depression. That is like putting a bandaid on a gaping surgicle wound...it doesn't work.
I have had PTSD most of my life, but was unaware of what it was I was dealing with until my first flashback 17 years ago.
There is help and hope, but we have to be able to look at the mess honestly and drop our "rose colored glasses " of a good childhood/life, etc.
I have recently remembered at least 4x my mother or father almsot killed me. Once was a physical attack as a toddler. Two times was neglect by my mother. One was a stupid mistake by a drunken parent. I had to drop my "fairy tail" picture of my mother ( formed to survive the horrible things my dad was doing to me) and see the real truth. I had to accept that it was ( as my T says) "That F***ING BAD!!"
Then I was able and ready to start remembering and seeing it as it really was.
But my body was screaming out violently before i opened up and allowed myself to know the real truth.
I am sorry for rambling, but this is what my body was doing and what helped me. I hope you find success with your T and are able to deal with whatever caused the PTSD. You can only hide it so long, then the body screams for the truth to be known!!
Much support adn safe gentle hugs of healing...
Also, it got so bad that I have not been able to work for almost 3 years. I am not anywhere near ready to return to work, but I did go out to eat with hubby and not have to leave in a crisis and panic attack....that is progress...
Welcome to PC, this is a good place with many people who can relate.