Hi, I'm new to this board, so I should probably introduce myself

My name's Darby and I'm 19 from VA. I'm a college student (online) and for fun I like to browse the internet (StumbleUpon is a close friend ), watch interesting things especially documentaries, anything music related (listening to, reading about, watching things about, playing, making, etc.), drawing, writing, painting, anything creative.

Bipolar disorder is the best diagnosis my psychiatrist can give me right now, but we are not 100% positive. I have the depression side for sure. I can be in a normal or even positive mood, and for no apparent reason, something triggers my brain to start free falling into a depressive episode, all within seconds. It's intense, hard to handle. The depression was at it's worst around the 4th of July. I was very suicidal, would have taken any chance I got. I stayed in my bed like 23 hours a day. When my live-in boyfriend would leave for work, I would take some Xanax just to knock myself out so I wouldn't have to deal with the day.

I was put on Cymbalta by my psychiatrist, chosen because it is the only antidepressant (out of probably 20 combined) that worked for both my mother and brother. I was desperate to stop feeling the way I was so I agreed to 30 mgs a day for the first week, then 60 mgs. I started the meds on July 20. I'd say that by the time August rolled around, I was significantly better. It was easier for my family to notice than me, but hey, I wasn't at all suicidal, that's HUGE!

Thought the Cymbalta was the drug for me, got my expensive prescription all filled...and now I believe I have to stop taking it. During the past 4 days or so, I've been getting progressively worse. Anxiety has probably doubled, depression comes and goes, at worse (yesterday), I felt completely empty again. I just laid down and cried because I couldn't control the sadness. Also, it is making me very agitated and restless, two words that scare the crap out of me because they exacerbate my dystonia/akathisia/RLS (no one has been able to figure that one out either).

You might be wondering why I was diagnosed as bipolar. True, I don't know that I've ever experienced a full manic episode. It's certainly possible, I've acted completely crazy and out of character before. However, I think it's more of a hypomania, and it's definitely not started abruptly and immediately like the depression is.

Anyone else have experience with Cymbalta? What did you think?

Thanks!