My husband suffers from "I must fix it" syndrome . Sometimes it drives me up the wall! I don't need him to "fix" anything - me or the problem at hand, I just need him to validate what I'm feeling and that my method of "fixing" (the seemingly endless research, etc - just like you described) is just as valid as his method of "take the bull by the horns and git'er done." I think things through as best I can, he acts without thinking it seems sometimes. What I want, what I need, what I crave is simple affirmation that though my method may be different, in the end we get the result we both desire. That I neeeeeeeeeeeed to talk things through with him WITHOUT platitudes and empty reassurances. I'm working on figuring out how to effectively communicate that to him. I have a hard time bringing up anything that involves spending money we may not recoup (or have covered by insurance) because I know money issues are his biggest stressor - see my "finances and communication" post! But i feel like we could really benefit from couples therapy, or at the least I could benefit from individual therapy. Just so darn expensive . But I feel like I lack the tools to tell him and get it through, what I need.

Oops, it seems like I've just gutted out on your thread... sorry... I identify with your OP so much it really just strikes such a strong chord with me. I'm so sorry you're going through the same issues, I truly understand how much it blows. I don't have solutions but I can offer ((( hugs ))) to you neiseluv. The others have had much wise advice.