Cam,

Thanks so much for the information. I really learned a lot, and I haven't even gotten to all of the links yet. One thing I didn't know was that a side effect of SJW is that it enhances the sedative effect of other herbs that have a sedative effect, including chamomile, valerian, kava, etc. There is an herb tea I used to use a lot (would still but my grocery store stopped carrying it - I ordered some online but they changed the formula now, omitting the Kava, so I don't know if it will be as good), for relaxation. When I had first started SJW, I tried the "Tension Tamer" tea and it knocked me out (at 2 in the afternoon). Tried it another day and the same thing happened, so I decided that was a bedtime tea. I actually appreciate that particular side effect, since I have had significant sleep problems and now chamomile works quite well, and chamomile with valerian is absolutely reliable.

I actually really hate to give that up, and I really like SJW because it has no side effects that bother me, and I did very well with it for several months. However, I've been struggling more with depression the last few weeks. It got bad. Today my T wanted me to make a deal with him that I would at least not attempt suicide until after finishing graduate school. I wasn't planning to anyway, but yeah, the thoughts have been there. He wants me to get on medication, and he says that my depression is not psychological but medical. In fact, although I haven't been manic (except for a little bit while overdosing on SJW onece), he says that he thinks I may be a true bipolar (even if my highs only approach normal), and that maybe the way my cycles are going just mimics SAD.

How does that affect what meds I should take? I have an appointment next week with a GP. My sister is a psychiatrist, and she said she was willing to consult but not prescribe for me. She really likes Effexor and that is what she has been recommending. I still don't think I want to switch to prescription meds. I'm afraid of side effects, don't welcome the expense, and I'm afraid of being stuck taking meds for the rest of my life. With SJW I could stop any time I like, but that's harder with a prescription med, and my T and my sister are both saying that I would probably just stay on it forever, since the depression has been pretty continuous for basically my entire life. And I really wanted to be able to beat it without drugs, but I'm tired of it, and tired of losing weeks or months at a time to it.

-Wendy

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>