Hi, barleysmile. I know just what you're talking about about being raised as a "lady", me too. It takes a lot of time and effort to get over that. I recommend picking some literal small action that bugs you and trying to do it differently, maybe make a list of literal behaviors you could work on. I still have trouble giving my husband the larger piece of meat, for example (women always give men the large piece of meat, they need the extra energy because they're "men" and work so hard :-) When you find yourself making a personal decision, give yourself whatever it was you decided the other person should "have"! Every time you think, "I should go check on Whoshewhats, instead, do something for yourself!

The airline instruction where you're supposed to put the oxygen mask over your own face first before helping children or others needing help reminds me that I have to take care of myself well or I can't take care of others as well as I might. Think of taking care of yourself in that light; you enjoy taking care of others so take care of yourself so your "instrument" (yourself) is in as good a shape as you can make it?