((((Bruce))))

My dear friend, I want you to know that I appreciate and somewhere love you. Your words and understanding realy touch my heart in ways you have no idea. The tears I cry (and yes, I am crying again) come from a place that you have touched that for some reason just flow when I read your words. Maybe that is because I am beginning to somehow feel them from a place safer than I have ever known.

Thank you for being a part of my life and for caring. Sometimes I do not get things as many times I never had it to be able to understand. But if anything I am starting even if it is with just a spark to grasp hold of things and hold onto them. Sometimes only for a time but sometimes I take it and hold it close to pull upon when things feel so hopeless and dark. Sometimes it is just enough light to give me that strength and hope to hold on a little longer, a little tighter.

Those within are trying to understand and with time are beginning to get somethings and many times are like myself in that at times they can get it at least for a while before it slips away. Some are in a place that they do not know where we are or how we got here or what year it even is. But we are all working together on that also. To be able to tuck away hope at times gives way for the change that we are trying to make. The change is that we used to never be able to even hear but know we can reach at times and grasp.

Many here have touched my heart and life, you are among those. Never would I try to compare you or others to those in my past but it is their words that bring those thoughts that many times I or others reveal holding hope that just maybe. In my heart I know you are not just as I also know that others are not but it is something that we are unbrainwashing and sometimes the thoughts just need to be said to get them out of our head to stop the voice that is screaming it, that is terrified of what we are coming to understand were lies.

My heart is touched my friend by the understanding and compassion and care within your words. I read and re-read so many times and hold them close just as with many others here their words keep me going and holding on when it feels I cannot hold on any longer. The fight within myself to not allow them any more power is strengthened many times by the words of those here. When we write it comes from somewhere deep within a place never heard until now. For so long fear stopped all sharing and all reaching. We never even knew it was possible or okay to allow anything out. You and others here have given me courage and strength to reach and open those dark places that were closed.

Thank you for being you and for caring. For believing in me and all within. For your understanding and for your words that touch my heart and make me think. For walking this path with me for it means more than you will ever know. Each step I take is another they do not get. I will not give up and I will fight this. Each time something comes out from deep within, as much as it hurts and as scary as it is the darkness is exposed and cannot hold its secrets any longer. To share this we no longer carry it alone where it haunts and taunts, but it allows us to see it and the lies it held. This gives hope for change and we take another step out of their hold.

I do not know if this makes any sense as today is very difficult and my mind is having trouble putting down words that seem to be there then disappear just as fast. I know what I am trying to say, I just hope you can too. Maybe that we are listening and hearing the best we can. That hope is growing and we are learning. Thank you for being our friend. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps