Pizza Fish, I 'm sorry you are feeling all this. I completly agree with Echos that these are just feelings and thoughs are just thoughts. Don't let your fear keep you from calling. I know that is very hard to do. I say call the T, tell her/him you are very scared and fearful. If they are a good T, they will still talk to you in a very kind manner and want to help you. Good T's are not snarky or mean or judgemental. If they are, then they are not a good T. At least that is what I think. You can do this and overcome this fear. Good luck.