Jexa, which would be harder? Stopping your SI, or continuing it? If stopping is hard, then it isn't weak. I have felt that way too though. I was disgusted with myself when I got tired of it at 36, and had wanted more, or when my cuts are never quite severe enough. But it really is harder to not to it at all, so it isn't weak not to do it. What would be really brave is to face that deep root without SIing at all. Then you would be committing to dealing with the emotions as feelings, rather than making them into something more familiar. And , truly, emotional healing doesn't happen when we SI instead. It is a way to avoid the real work of therapy.