So much of this is so familiar.... And the summer? Seems pretty popular, but usually feels more like an endurance event -- I'd just like to estivate, please! (like hibernation, but summer)

On the argument/shut up thing, I can't really say. I do know that I sometimes tell myself to shut up out loud. Out loud. Yeah. Great, huh?! There are a lot of things I'm still putting the pieces of the puzzle together and starting to understand. Ok. Here comes the word. Therapy. The reason I mention this is from personal experience of doing therapy in the past where, although bits were helpful, a large part felt like it wasn't going anywhere.... like barking up a tree that, though there was plenty of fruit there (so to speak, lol), it wasn't helping much with the here and now (or the there and then!) Have just started again and glad to be aware of that dynamic for this time around.

Reason to mention it? Just wondering if you've really conveyed your most current concerns to your T. Because sure, they're there to help guide things, but maybe it's going along a path that isn't particularly relevant to the things most pressing to you now. Just thought I'd throw that out there on the chance that it might be relevant to your situation.

to my fellow estivator! Hope you can get un-blah-ed soon!