Here's the thing - I'm a student pursuing a graduate-level professional degree in the medical field. As part of my training, I am required to complete a certain number of days/hours at each clinical site. There are no breaks built in for make-up time if I need to take a few days off, so if I miss more than a couple of days, I'll have to repeat the entire five-week rotation. This isn't like a normal job - it marches onward and won't wait for me to feel up to coming back. If I end up hospitalized again, I could lose my spot in the program, and therefore my career. I've fought very hard to continue in this program, and since I'm supposed to be finishing in December, I really don't want to give it all up now.

But I understand your point. At present, I am not well. Without medications, I'm an extremely anxious, semi-hallucinating, manic(ish) wreck. With the clonazepam on board, I feel much more calm, yet completely apathetic about my schoolwork and chores. I would LOVE to take a few days off... I wouldn't even mind being in the hospital for a few days (my apartment is a complete disaster and I want to escape it), but choosing that route could jeopardize my education and my career.

I feel like I have no choice... I'm either going to make this work, or die trying.