Jexa-
Please stop! The longer this goes on the harder it will be to stop. You don't deserve to be hurt. You will regret the scars. Please don't cause yourself pain.

Can you ask your T these things?
Will my T still care about me if I stop? Will she understand how hard it was, if I can stop so quickly once I started? Will she roll her eyes at my melodrama? Will she wrap me up in a bow and tell me I'm just fine now?