Thanks for the support (((zoo))) and (((rainbow))). It means a lot to me that you guys are here.

googley, I'm going to try to stop. I first wrote I'm going to stop, but I couldn't say that. I'm going to try. Okay, well, I'll at least save it up until after my session on Friday. If she can convince me to stop, then I'll really stop.

I don't think I can ask my T those questions how embarrassing.

FZ, if there were a God, I'd ask him to take away the urge, not to tell me what to do. I'd ask him to give me the feeling of satisfaction that I've been trying to find for so long. And yes I guess the only way to find out the answers to these questions is to stop.

Okay well first let's see if I can get through a day without doing it, before I make any kind of lofty goal of "never again."