WOW. Your T seems to be having some struggles of her own right now!

Well, first, GOOD FOR YOU for being able to step back and realize that whatever is going on, it probably has more to do with HER than with YOU. That is huge progress, and even if you do end up spiraling about this, just the fact that you were able to go there at all is really big.

My impression (which could be 100% wrong of course) was that she is frustrated because you are not fitting into her neat little "DBT" box. It feels like she wants therapy to look like something out of a Linehan book, and the fact that it might not is frustrating to her.

I know my T has been frustrated at times...but when we've talked about it, it turns out it's not "me" he's frustrated with, it's the process. During times when I've been in a lot of pain and it's just dragged on and on and on, and there's nothing T can do to "fix" it, he's been frustrated...but he didn't give up, I didn't give up, and we made it through. Last summer when we were in the summer long rupture at the beginning of my CSA story, we both were incredibly frustrated - but I was admitting it, and he was in "T" mode. He finally left me a message saying how frustrated he was and how hard it was for both of us and how he wished he could just somehow make it better, and that was a big turning point. When I heard the truth of how he was feeling, I felt more understood because I was feeling the same way, and the rift between us got way smaller.

I wonder if your T is in a similar spot? She wants to help you feel better, but she's not sure how, and it's frustrating her. YOU are not frustrating her, but the process is. ???

You and she will get to the other side of this, but I know it sucks in the meantime.