(((((you guys))))) Thank you so much for your replies. I love this place.

I feel ok about this today. I had a dream last night that I met someone who is like a hero of mine. But in my dream he was a total ****. But I was ok with that, in my dream. I knew it was HIM and not ME. I think it's possible that I'm starting to feel ok in myself and not need constant outside reassurance. Starting. I think.

Part of me is entertaining the idea of not going to T anymore, and kind of enjoying exploring that. Most of me knows that's not going to happen and I'll be there next week for my session, like always.

My T isn't perfect and it really seems to me like she made a couple of mis-steps yesterday. You guys have helped confirm that for me, that it's not me, it's her. And I don't expect her to be perfect. I am just trying to chalk it up to Ts annoying insistence on being human and thus fallible, and move on.

It does kind of freak me out that she was so quick to say "fine, nevermind, we'll go back to the old way of doing it" but that seems like just another sign that she's not at the top of her game right now.

Jexa, I will absolutely use the DBT parlance when I talk to her again. It doesn't have to be all one way or another. It can be both. There's the dialectic.

Peaches, rainbow, tree, wepow, googley, your words helped me so much. Thank you. Thank you.