Good for you for asking questions!

1) do you hug your therapist?

I do now... I didn't for at least a year or more - sometimes she would after a hard session. She hugs at least all the gay guys as they leave, or even as they come in. I'm not sure I've seen that often with the gals.

2) what's it like?

Most times it is fine now. Sometimes I am mad or irritated at her and i hope to not hug her (it is an every session thing now). In those moments if I try to make a run for it, I'll be halfway down the hall to the door and she'll say "No hug?" and then i reluctantly return. She says "You don't have to" but i feel like i have to. I could never tell her i wanted a hug and now i can never tell her when i don't.

3) how was it the first time?

Hmmm don't remember... I know i was terribly envious of those who did get hugs. I think we might have talked about it - if so she brought it up. And then it seems like that first time it was akward.

4) how is it now?

After that it was a normal part of connecting after the sesson and keeping that connection for the week. She always insitgates it. I never assume i will get one... i watch and wait.