I am in a partial hospitalization program after I completely crashed into an acute depressive episode a couple of weeks ago. I'm working really hard on issues like grief and shame (and shame ABOUT grieving... I've never been one to make things simple.) It is exhausting, but helpful. I saw absolutely no hope for myself a week ago, and I now have just a glimmer of hope... not much, but it is now like having a candle in a darkened room, instead of being in total darkness. It makes a big difference. I'm continuing to have frustrations with meds. I started a tricyclic antidepressant last week, and yesterday I started having some horrendous side effects (that trust me, you don't want me to go into here!) I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay on the medication... and I've been on so many, there's not a whole lot left to try. I suppose that all I can do is trust that we'll figure out something. But, overall, I'm grateful to be feeing just the teensiest bit better.