Shhhh, it is no wonder you keep taking him back. The most important person in your life keeps berating you and calling you stupid. That is you, love. Stop beating yourself up. Say only nice things about yourself to yourself. You are a grand and caring human being. Would you call your best friend stupid and other such mean things? There is a reason you have stuck with him for so long, find out what that reason is then you can make the conscious decision on whether that reason is good enough or not. Take care and remember you are your most important asset so treat yourself with care.
Zen<font color=green>

Deal with the difficult while it is still easy. Solve large problems when they are still small. Preventing large problems by taking small steps is easier the solving them. Therefore, the Tao person anticipates and lives wisely, by small actions accomplishing great things.--From the Tao Te Ching