Whew- having a really hard time lately. August has been a hard month, my abusers b day and mine are 2 days apart and fall in this month.

Overall, just struggling with being really reactive and emotionally raw, trying to be gentle with myself. Bad nightmares, I had been fighting sleep by using a stimulant and was only getting a few hours a night.
Screwed up the courage and told my T she was very gentle and scheduled extra sessions. Work has got in the way the last few weeks, but she has really worked to return phone calls.

Last week I got a letter from a family member and past abuser- discussed putting the letter away, recycling it, burning it. So I thought I was doing okay, then went home and read the letter a few days later. Ugh. Have been in a really bad spot since then, not doing well at home or work. Slipped into some behaviors I wish I wouldn't have.

To top it off, I could not make our extra session due to a last minute work conflict. Their receptionist has left, so it's been tough to get messages to T. Today the new receptionist told me there was an opening when there wasn't, so I went and sat in the waiting room only to be sent away.

I will see her Thursday- that seems so far away. I'm feeling such a mix of emotions right now. URGH!!!!