1) do you hug your therapist? No. My Therapist hugs me. He made that clear when he started offering me hugs. He hugs his friends and it is a natural part of who he is. He knows it is helping me heal in ways words just can't heal for someone from my trauma history. So HE gives me a hug at the end of each session.

2) what's it like? It is healing. It tells me he likes me even though I may tell him stuff I have deep shame about. It feels safe. He keeps his body away from me and just uses his arms and I think that is cool because it is him saying "This is my space, but here you go - I want to offer you my arms for just a tiny bit." It teaches me that a person can have personal boundaries but still extend themselves to another person in a safe and healthy way.

3) how was it the first time?
It was terrifying. It was kinda a strange dance between a handshake and an ackward sideways hug another time. Then he offered a first hug and it was so healing. But the next time he did not offer one and I really missed it and had to do a ton of work inside around why I needed that hug and what it meant to my healing. Once I worked through all that for myself and talked it over with my T (which included the session ending with me saying "Can I give you a hug?" and him saying "No. But I can give you one." ) ... well that was the start of the most powerful medicine I have EVER had on a level very deep inside my spirit.

4) how is it now?
It is wonderful. It is safe. I honor each hug and know that it is not obligatory... that T does not have to offer me one. And that makes it mean a lot to me inside. I know it is a gift of medicine each time. I can respect that medicine as a single dose gift he dispenses at this time.
If it were me, I could hug him for hours because he is a wonderful T. But that would not be medicine - it would just be fun. So I have a guy friend at work who gives me all the safe non-sexual male hugs I need anytime I want one and he will just hug me for 10 min at a time sometimes! So I am now learning how to get what I need outside the therapy office. So bottom line is that it really is not just a T hug... it is therapy.

Thanks posting this question to all of us! It allows me to work out mentally an issue that I am doing a ton of internal work around at this point in my life.