Michelle; I agree with Innerzone BP II can be just a severe and just as damaging as BP I. The difference is the diagnostic criteria. I also think it's natural to question if one is "really" sick and the fact that your previous t-doc was such a douche you may be more sensitive to questioning your feelings.

I constantly questioned if I was really depressed or was just being "lazy". Being lazy doesn't include suicidal thoughts or attempts, so I agree your symptoms are real. I wouldn't test the validity of your diagnosis by going off your meds. For me educating myself on bipolar helped me see the pattern in my own life. I can suggest a great book: "Bipolar Breakthrough" by Ronald Fieve. Hope that helps.