Ugh - I'm in that love/pain place of therapy.

I LOVE T. I really do. And I know that he truly cares about me. Today, he was telling me his reaction to the story he created out of my phone messages on three levels: as someone hearing a story and thinking "wow, that is an amazing journey", as a therapist "wow, she's really using the tools she's learned in therapy" and on a personal level "wow, I am SOOO proud of her". I know that all of that is part of our relationship, and I like that all of that is part of our relationship.

AND. It's just that bittersweet feeling of feeling so loved, and of loving, and of somehow being alone at the same time. The whole love/loss thing. All at once.

I do have many people in my real life that I love, and my life is full and busy. I am lucky in that way. But there is something I get from T that I can't get anywhere else. And I really really miss it when he's gone so much.

I can't believe he's leaving again. I'm sure the time will pass quickly, but here, on day 1 (or not even day 1 yet actually) it feels LOOOOOOOONG.