[quote=Myers;1465109]Firstly, my condolences for your troubles in childhood.

Thank you...

You have certainly shined a light on my situation. I was genuinely confused and upset at my sister's lack of compassion throughout our lives but if she Cannot feel for my pain I will not be as hurt by her apathy. I have actually had the breathe shocked out of me at her calousness. I look forward to following you to see how you cope. My sister and I actually have an ok relationship most of the time.

I have to laugh when I think of a guy she got close to online who called her out on her personality. He nailed her for being controlling when she talked of "managing people" and said she was intelligent and charismatic but completely lacking in any ability to empathize. She turned to me and said, "Can you believe he said that!" My jaw dropped! I reminded her of the times she'd been cruel and unfeeling to me when I needed and deserved comforting and she said, "when are you going to get over that?" and blew me off. I just said, "there you go...". I had already accepted her 'as is' but it helps to have a possible explanation. I love this guy too for telling her things I couldn't and indeed wouldn't try to tell her. Also, she bought a book for me to read (to help me change my evil ways) Walking on Eggshells. She read it first and said she realized it was about her, not me. Occasionally she'll realize her cruelty is wrong but she always returns to it as if it is, in fact, compulsive.

For the record, I love my sister and have learned to carefully navigate her moods. I have to say, I do actively take steps to protect myself when I see the signs she's going to come after me emotionally. You are certainly making an effort online. You seem to be teaching more than learning. I hope it matters to you that we want you to be successful in living with your condition. I've read other posts and it seems I'm not alone in wanting you to be happy. If your family is educated about your condition you will receive better support and they will be better people for what they've learned. Love or no love, you are connected to them. For myself, I really appreciate you!