(((((JWD)))))

I'm really sorry you're so low right now. I can feel the pain and depression in your words. I think if it were possible to just 'suck it up' we would have done that a long time ago. The idea of being on meds "forever" used to really bother me, too. I think it's ok to not look that far down the road. Take the meds now, because you need it and it helps. Don't worry about whether you will always need them.