I used a privilege system...writing standards...time outs......paying back a debt ...tried to relate consequences as close to what they could expect from society later in life as possible.We didn't hit ....there were alot of i love yous flyin round the house and earning extra dollars and activity involvement .but if they hit...they wrote standards if they missed homework...they made it up next day...if they didnt perform assigned chore...allowance was deducted......ect.Then they got bigger lol....