I had an eye doctor that was like the psychiatrist you describe; yelled at me like I was 10 years old. Luckily my coworker/girlfriend's elderly mother used the same eye doctor and my girlfriend took her mother on her doctor visits and was the intermediary so she and I would trade stories and laugh at the doctor and it made things much more comfortable for me, knowing it wasn't "me".

I'd go to the good psychiatrist and tell your T about how outrageous she acts, etc. and just go along with whatever when you're working with her, knowing the rude manner is "her" and has nothing whatsoever to do with you. You'll get really competent advice and can blow off steam with your T. Whenever she frightens, angers, or tries to humiliate you, you can remember your T giving you one of her birthday cupcakes and smile (which should push the psychiatrist around the bend, LOL).

How cool, that your T gave you one of her birthday cupcakes! Yes, it does feel a bit frightening and uncomfortable to re-experience in front of T but her reaction is nice and takes away some of the embarrassment. I concentrate on the connection between us at that time instead of how I'm feeling (about the event I'm re-experiencing or how T is responding, either one :-) THAT T is responding well and I can count on her, that's what comforts me and calms me down.