I guess my question here would be whether you could use anything of the past bad experience and turn that around: in other words, use it productively to move forward. For instance, my experience of trauma is filled with a lot of anger. And I think that anger moves me forward, because I want to feel that I can be bigger, better, stronger, cleverer, etc. than my abuser. I want to grow and stay healthy to outsurvive him, so to say. So it's a competitive approach: even though you harmed me I win, because I can use that experience to make the world a better place. I know this sounds rather sad but so far that's been my most productive coping mechanism. This is not straightforward and easy either but perhaps less harmful than other coping mechanisms. Has anyone had this experience, and did it work?