Sounds like you're saying that there's something you've been needing to express or address and cutting is (so far) the only thing that comes close to expressing/addressing it for you. (No, I'm not going to guess at what it could be; you'll tell us more when you're good and ready.) If you give up cutting, you might as well be giving up on that issue too, so whoever talks you out of cutting is doing you a double-edged favor (if there's such a thing ).

So of course I'm wondering: could you find other ways to say whatever you say (to yourself or whoever) by cutting, that aren't so hard on you?