thanks for all your responces.i think the most horrable thing is all this is going on and i feel NOTHING at all.i'm tired and angry at the fact that i have to deal with my farther.i hate that i cant cry.or anything.i just feel empty.i know that everyone must think im a cold hearted horrable humanbeaing.i just dont feel anything but i'm still thare to do what needs to get done asking the doc all the questions farther wants and his laundry,paying his bills.that shows i care somehow dont it?in the e-mail to T i asked her if this makes me a rotten person.