One of the things I got from the letter was that you expect to be told the "rules". I found there are no rules in life or group :-) For me, in a group the group makes the rules and adjusts as group goes on and people learn about each other; which person is controlling and which holds back and doesn't share, etc. That's the point of being in a group, to learn how to get and give support to other people; that's what happens here in PC and in all groups.

Your T's know, as T's, that good T's don't control groups. Your T's have to show that to you, have to practice that, not tell you, "T's don't control"; it's like with writing, you "show, don't tell". You are supposed to be practicing noticing, and questioning everything you're noticing. Other people can only control "us" if we let them. How is it one individual has got several of you in an uproar? She talks; cannot one of you not reply but change the subject to themselves instead? Can you all not be silent so she gets no response? You all respond to her, and like a negative parent's response being better than none, she keeps doing what gets her responses! Why would she change? I wouldn't! If I want it to be about ME, guess who I'm going to talk about?

I would let Mz. Obnoxious Controller say her thing, look right at her, smile at her, even give a fake laugh and change the subject, launch into something about you/a concern you have. If the others have learned anything, they'll start offering responses to you and if she responds at the same time, you can politely say, "Excuse me, OC, I wanted to hear what so-and-so had to say." That's what you're supposed to be learning in group; that's what group is all about, how to make it out in the "world" where there are a zillion OC's.

It could be someone won't like your tactics and will call you on them, tell you you are "rude" and you can explain that the discussion is about your comments and you "own" the floor, that you're not trying to be rude but that OC was talking over the comments of so-and-so you were listening to and working with and that YOU find THAT rude.

It's not like individual therapy; the T's aren't going to make direct comments, "tell" you much out right. You have to see what happens in actual experience; think of group as being like the lab class for your individual therapy.