
Aug 18, 2010, 11:03 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: California
Posts: 898
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
I feel so, so far away from my T. We had a kind of misunderstanding or small rupture on Monday and I've been ok with it since then, basically. That really, REALLY feels like more than 2 days ago, by the way.
I think I've moved past the "T, you can't hurt me because I don't care anyway" phase and into the "oh $hit, did I push T too far? Is she gone? Is she mad at me?" insecurity. Which, considering how much time I spend in this kind of place, you'd think I'd be accustomed to it by now, but I'm not. It hurts and it's scary.
I sent T an email yesterday, just a short one asking for a letter I need from her for court. But I was hoping I'd hear back from her and feel a little connected that way. The more time that goes by without me hearing from her, the further away she feels. I'm not even sure she exists out there in the world at this point. She feels so far away, has FELT so far away, even during my session on Monday I wondered where she was, because she wasn't really there.
this is just really hard and discouraging. I don't know if I'll ever not be like this. 
|
((((((((((((Zoo))))))))))) It won't last forever. I am sure you will be able to heal this rupture with your T. I am sending you good thoughts and lots of hugs
    
__________________
Lauru-------------That's me, Bipolar and Watching TV
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
---Robert Frost
|